Lessons Learned

This week marks 4 years since Shaye and I have been trying to become parents. Sometimes it's been difficult, emotional, and downright depressing. With countless rounds of Clomid, 4 doctors, and one round of artificial insemination that resulted in a chemical pregnancy (early miscarriage), we know we've done a lot, but we still have a lot ahead of us. It's been the biggest challenge of my life, by far, but I think that it's also yielded the most personal growth in my life. Here are a few things I've learned so far in this journey:


*Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us. I grew up thinking that it was pretty much a uniform plan for most of us (be born, grow up and go to school, get married, and become a parent), but it isn't a cookie cutter plan. Heavenly Father knows each of us personally and knows what types of challenges we need to help us grow.

*Even though it seems impossible, the Savior really does suffer with us. He is there to love us and hold our hands through anything in life that we face. He is the only balm that can truly heal our suffering.

*It's okay to be different from the norm. Even though it's hard to be misunderstood by people who don't know about our situation, I can understand their point of view.

*It's perfectly acceptable to grieve challenges, feel sad and heartbroken, and even feel angry at times. It's okay to feel so hormonal that you cry during a commercial (ha!), or to cry for no reason at all.

*It's a waste of time to put my whole life on hold and decide I can't be happy until I get pregnant.

*I'm stronger than I think I am.

*Some things just don't make sense. God sends babies to thousands of women who get abortions, and there are lots of families like us who can't get pregnant. It's one of those great mysteries, but I know Heavenly Father knows what He's doing.

*Sometimes the best thing to do is just laugh. "There's never a good time for a bad attitude." (Thanks Tyler Wilkinson)

*It really is a huge blessing to have so much time for Shaye and I to strengthen our marriage and accomplish things we couldn't otherwise.

*There's always WAY more blessings to count than problems to lament over!

*Blessings do come--even if it feels like it will take FOREVER!

So here we go, commencing year #5. I've stopped telling myself "this will be the year!", but I always hope. Either way, I know everything will be okay. (Ask me that on a bad day, haha.) Thank you to all of you who have been so loving and supportive so far, I really owe you so much!

Our Christmas on Film

We had a wonderful Christmas! In fact, I've really been relishing this whole holiday season. To be honest, the past couple Christmases have been a little bit sad for me. I guess Christmas is a marker for me; every year I've thought to myself, I'll for sure be pregnant by next Christmas, and when I haven't been it's been a sad feeling. But this Christmas I decided to break the cycle. I decided I wasn't going to be sad, and my strategy has been to keep myself really busy-- and it's working! :) I have to take take 2 Spanish literature courses for my PhD, so I've been relearning Spanish and this has been taking up TONS of my time. I've also taught myself to crochet. (I'll post pictures of my projects later.)

This Christmas we went up to Salt Lake for a quick trip, which has become a tradition for us. Going to temple square and hanging out in downtown SLC just makes me feel Christmasy and reminds me of all the fun choir trips I took in high school. Here is a video of our quick trip with Skyler and Jamie. (It's way cute, but Shaye had to throw in some crude humor at the end [I shake my head]).



Another super fun, exciting event this Christmas is that Shaye and I helped my Mom buy an Audi for my Dad for Christmas. If you don't know my Dad well, he's a total car freak. He bought his A3 (a more conservative Audi) 4 years ago and he and my Mom made a pact that he would wait 8 years and then they would get him the Audi of his dreams. So it came as quite the shock to my Dad on Christmas Eve when my super frugal Mom surprised him with the Audi S4. This surprise seriously made our Christmas. We haggled with the car salesmen with my Mom, drove down to Vegas and picked it up with her, and kept it in our garage for a few days. This video below is the footage that Shaye captured of the big surprise. So much fun!



Well, I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that you all have a Happy New Year!

Shaye's New Business

Hello Everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated my blog! Time seems to be going by so quickly lately. Since I wrote last, things have been going quite well. I haven't talked about this much, but Shaye started his own business in August and they have been doing well and building up a good clientele. His business is called Call IQ; they are a telecommunications company and the gist of what they do is that they provide online business tools to company. They assign unique tracking numbers to phone numbers assigned to different marketing campaigns and assess what mediums are working best for companies. They also record all of their clients' calls so that they can assess how well their employees are handling incoming calls.

Since August we've learned that owning one's own business is definitely a very different experience from working for someone else. There is so much more responsibility, but so much more reward as well. I'm so proud of Shaye and impressed by his passion and dedication to what he's doing. (Plus, doesn't he look so handsome in his business suit above. :)) I'm excited to see Shaye continue in this great work he's in. I'm proud of you, babe!

If any of you want to read more about it, this is the company website: http://mycalliq.com

Ever Gain 100 lbs on Halloween?

Exhibit A

Me with a chocolate covered macaroon. Caught red handed!


Exhibit B

Kathleen Smith's, my sister-in-law Jamie's Mom's, house all decked out for Halloween. (Like the pillow in my back?)

Exhibit C

I spot a plate of brownies across the room. (No worries, we're drinking IBC Rootbeer, not booz!)

So how did this disastrous Halloween costume come about, you ask? We were invited to a super festive Halloween party for the second year in a row. Last year we were the LAMEST couple there. Shaye went as a mustache vampire ('nuff said). So this year I was determined to dress up cute. I asked my Mom if she had any costumes. She has all the Wizard of Oz costumes which she bought for Dixie's education department...but she only had a plus size Dorothy costume.

At first I thought, perfect, Shaye can go as Dorothy and I'll go as the scarecrow. However, Shaye gave me an ultimatum--I could go as "Full Figured Dorothy" to the party and he could go as the scarecrow, or we wouldn't go at all. (Who do you think wears the pants in this family?)

So I stuffed myself with two pillows and we ate tons of yummy food and had fun. I felt kind of bad dressing up as a full-figured Dorothy because I think plus-sized women are beautiful and not to be ridiculed. Even so, I couldn't help but feel self-conscious going back for seconds. Everyone kept saying "you look so cute!" but I'm pretty sure they really meant "it's so good of you to make a fool of yourself for our enjoyment." But I guess this is what Halloween is all about.

I'm More Than Halfway Through the Semester!

Life has been great lately, and I love checking in on all your blogs! My semester is going well. Since I'm well into my 2nd semester of my Ph.D., I'm really beginning to feel more at home on UNLV's campus and more accustomed to the drive. It's such a great opportunity that I have and I'm really trying to make the best of it.
Here's a picture of me with my primary reading for this semester. I'm having so much fun! Most of this stuff is so fun to read!

A Personal Victory

For the past year I've been working on my Ph.D. and I've been loving it! However, I've been waiting to formally apply to the program formally because some of my entry exams were not as high as they needed to be. This is fairly common at UNLV because several of the GRE (Graduate Record Exams) are pretty difficult to pass. UNLV allows students to take 12 credits before official admittance, which is what I've been doing.

UNLV has 2 test requirements: that their applicants score in the 75th percentile of higher in the GRE General Test and in the 50th percentile or higher for the GRE Literature subject test. I passed the GRE Literature test finally in March (Wahoo!); however, I barely missed the General test by scoring in the 74th percentile, basically 1 question too low.


I was bummed about this, but when I began applying a few months ago, UNLV told me that my General score was great. They said that the test company reported that I scored in the 95th percentile, not the 74th percentile I thought I had scored. I was super relieved at first, but then I got to thinking there must be something wrong with what UNLV was telling me.

So I had UNLV send me the scores, and low and behold, they were Amanda Scott from Loveland, Ohio's scores. Oh no! So then I was faced with a decision of whether or not to raise this to the UNLV's attention. I knew they would never be the wiser if I kept my mouth shut, but of course, I couldn't live with being dishonest about this score. So I told them this high score on the test (in the 95th percentile) was a different Amanda Scott's scores and they told me to hurry and retake the test.

The past two weeks I've been studying to retake this test. It is something that I would usually take a few months to study for, but because the deadline for my application is November 1, I had to act fast! I studied really hard and learned about 1200 new words. And I prayed that Heavenly Father would bless me for being honest. And boy did he ever, I took the test today and scored in the 97th percentile! Not only is this high enough to reach UNLV's requirement, but it is even higher than that other Amanda Scott's scores. I'm so relieved that my hard work has paid off and feel so blessed for Heavenly Father's help. Now I have my fingers crossed that I'm officially admitted in the next few months. Wish me luck! :)

Our New Puppy!

In mid-July we did a crazy, spontaneous thing. I was in the Utah Valley area visiting some of Shaye's family and we decided, totally spur of the moment, that we wanted a second dog! I called a breeder in Spanish Fork and we got little Max!

Isn't he adorable? He's been so fun because he's quite a bit sweeter than Mimi--though we really love Mimi, believe me. But Max is more silly and sweet, while Mimi is smarter and sassier. :) We love our sweet little guy! Now Mimi has a buddy to play with!