I'm A Guest Blogger! :)

Hi Friends,

I just wanted to drop a quick line to tell you that I am being featured as a guest blogger on my good friend Kenna's infertility and adoption blog. She is one of the many AMAZING women I've met on this journey and I've learned so much from her strong endurance through many insanely difficult trials. It was such a pleasure to share my experiences on her blog. My piece is entitled "My Revised Fairytale" and you can view it here: http://www.myiwrite.com/2012/05/revised-fairytale.html.

Lots of love!

Thoughts on Mother's Day

Mother's Day was simply amazing for me this year. I hate to admit it, but Mother's Day has been a bit dreaded for me for the past few years. Once I even faked sick to get out of going to church. (Shame on me!) This year, we woke up in a hurry as usual, and I hadn't really given much thought to the day. In sacrament meeting I was so nauseous I didn't have time to really feel anything meaningful, but in Relief Society when my bishop stood up and struggled through tears to talk about the divinity of motherhood and showed several short Mormon Message videos on it, I totally lost it. In one of the short videos there was a dark haired young mom holding a tiny dark haired infant and it hit me that that was going to be me. It was a real "full circle" moment for me. For 5 years we have fasted and prayed to be parents and struggled with the pain of loss and disappointment, and now I can hardly believe our blessings!

I'm just so extremely grateful for the miracle of pregnancy and the divine heritage that we have to be able to be mothers. What could be more sweet? I now feel that I am coming into full step with who I'm really meant to be. I'm certain that I'll continue to change a lot as my journey progresses, and doubtless, there will be intense challenges up ahead, but there is nothing I would want to do with my life but this!

To make this weekend even better, I got to attend my long-time friend Nikki's baby shower on Saturday. It was so fun! It was another first for me. Baby showers have been a bit hard for the past few years too. Honestly, I've never had a hard time being happy for my friends--not at all! However, sometimes I felt self-conscious and felt the need to be super-Pollyanna about things. No one wants a cranky infertile woman to crash the shower!

This was just so different. I felt that full bloom in my heart of the joy of being a woman and a mother. I even posed for my first belly shot (above), which felt a bit foolish because I'm just barely showing. You can see my cracking up in the second picture because Nikki is jamming her 8 month pregnant tummy into my back to help my baby bump look bigger. I love my friends so so much! It was a joyous day for me to talk to them, play with their sweet babies, and look forward to the future.

In short, life really couldn't be any better. I feel so richly blessed, and I just can't believe how sweet and joyous my life is as I feel this little baby grow inside of me. How did I get so lucky?

Our Miracle: 12 Weeks

It's about time for an update, I think! :) Thank you all for your recommendations to relieve nausea. I have tried each and every suggestion, and it pretty much seems random. Sometimes ginger or peppermint helps, and sometimes nothing helps. It has all stayed very manageable, though. I haven't thrown up once, so at its worst it's just been pretty bad nausea. I ended up telling my students 2 weeks ago because I was just not myself with being sick. I was nervous about sharing the news, but they were all very excited for me.

Here I am. I'm not really showing yet, but I definitely have a little pudge. :)

Even though being sick isn't fun, morning sickness has been a real blessing for me. When we found out that IVF worked, I was almost 4 weeks and then the first few weeks of pregnancy I was terrified of miscarrying. It felt so wrong to be so full of fear when I should just be feeling gratitude and I prayed to stop feeling so afraid. Heavenly Father answered my prayers through an unlikely answer; the nausea and exhaustion soon kicked in, and after that I didn't have a chance to be worried about miscarrying. The nausea is a constant reminder that my baby is strong and that this is going to work.

Now, here I am. Already finished with my first trimester! It's strange for me to think that this is the time a lot of people just begin to share their news, which makes my pregnancy seem extra long, but then I have to remind myself that we are not a normal couple and this is not a normal pregnancy. This baby has been prayed for and hoped for so long and by so many that my journey is likely to be a bit different.

We have been so blessed so far to have very few complications. Absolutely nothing has gone wrong with the baby, but when I was about 9 weeks I had this sudden sharp pain in my left side right over where I thought my ovary would be. I was worried that it might be twisted, which is something that can happen after hyper-stimulation with IVF. The pain was so bad I could barely walk, but after Dr. Lunt thoroughly checked me out, we found that there was absolutely nothing wrong. I was so relieved! I just had to take Tylenol for about a week and then the pain went away. Dr. Lunt thought it might have been from inflammation from my lovely progesterone shots in the hip. (Those are over now--thank goodness! :))

I am excited about my 2nd trimester. I'm starting to feel a lot better. I still feel yucky at times, but much better. I am also beginning to feel more connected to my pregnancy. I think there is a little bit of healing that has to happen after so many years of infertility. I got so used to disappointment that I built up emotional callouses, or something. Sometimes I have to remind myself that that struggle is over now and I'm moving onto a new challenge that is so much more productive. Sometimes I just want to pinch myself because we're so. very. blessed.

All is well at the Scotts and I'm looking forward to what's to come! :)