Bellingham: Day 1 and 2

On May 30, we embarked on quite the adventure. Our first family trip (notice that I'm not using the word "vacation," as it would be a misnomer in this case!).

We started off by driving to Vegas. I had to wedge myself between their two car seats, but all was fine. I had packed meticulously, and I was pretty sure we were going to be all right. Shaye dropped us off at the airport and I snapped this photo to send to my mom to show her that all was well...and then Shaye got lost and couldn't find the parking garage. He called me wanting directions without really knowing where he was, and then things pretty much fell apart when Emme threw a tantrum and tried to run away from me and Hudson started screaming. I definitely lost my cool and we hadn't even boarded the plane yet. Oh dear...

Contrary to my fears, however, the plane wasn't all that bad. Probably because of her early antics, Em fell asleep an hour or so into the flight woke up when we were landing. I had to nurse Hudson a few times, but it wasn't too bad.

We landed in the evening and grocery shopped and settled into our rental. The next day we had all to ourselves. Skyler and Jamie weren't to arrive until the next day and my family wasn't due for another few days after that. We enjoyed the park on Lake Whatcom in the marina where there were these ginormous swings. Em just loved it.

Later we walked around our beloved Lake Louise. 

We gathered wild raspberries. They're pretty tart, but we don't mind. Emme was immediately a fan!

 My face says it all here. Bellingham, and especially lake Louise, is a zen place for me.

 And let me just tell you, the smell here is amazing. You can just smell all of the trees, thousands of them! And there are little ducks playing in lilly pads. It all just makes my heart happy.

I could tell right away that Shaye was going to love showing Emme his childhood delights of this place.

 The next day Skyler and Jamie got in and we got to see their fun bungalow in Fairhaven. The neighborhood was maybe a little sketchy, but the place couldn't have been cuter. Shaye had some work to do, and so we hung out here for a few hours. Emme explored with Landon and Shayden and we adults and Hudson laid around and talked. It was drizzling out and rather cool. Just how we like it.

A bit later we ventured into town and took a little drive north to Birch Bay. It was cool and windy, but still very fun. Emme had never seen the ocean before. She definitely had fun, but she thought the shells and seaweed were a little bit gross too.

This is the face she gave me when I begged her to smile. Pretty sure she threw these seashells 5 seconds later.

We had tons of fun eating caramel s'mores and just laughing and being together. Skyler and Jamie are the funnest to travel with! This second day was so fun!

May in Everyday Photos

Oh, the sweet craziness of our every day lives. Here are some fleeting moments I captured that give a glimpse of our May.

 

Sometimes I just can't stand how cute she looks and I pull out my camera and snap some photos. This happened to be on Mother's Day. When she cooperates, it's gold; when she doesn't, I feel like some terrible "momager" or something, forcing her kid to pose.

 The way we spend a lot of our time--with all of us in bed watching TV.

 We finished our backyard this month and are pretty excited about it! We've had grass back there awhile, but it's so nice to look back and see bark and plants instead of dirt!

 So, since I've been dieting, I've had enough milk to nurse Hudsie, but not extra to donate like before. Also, while the milk I thawed from a few weeks after Hudson was born was totally opaque and creamy, my milk now looked more like skim milk. Good thing he's still as chunky as can be!

 Their first little bath together. Hudson was maybe a little afraid for him life. And I think Emme realized he is a boy for the first time--hahaha.

 I put my foot down and treated myself to a mother's day gift--my new garden! I'm a TOTAL novice, but excited to learn.

 We went on a fun date night dinner in Shaye's car. Always a treat!

 I got the Bountiful Basket tamale kit and made some pork tamales that turned out awesome. It makes  a big mess, but it's pretty awesome. We've been eating this batch I made for months!

 What snuggling with Hudsie feels like after nursing. I'm obsessed with him!

Mandy and me with our sweet boys. So fun to have them so close in age even though we never see each other.

 Yeah...this sometimes seems like a good idea when we pull up to Harmon's, but it never ends up working out to great when I'm slamming into end caps and trying not to lose my temper.

 We bought this kitty leash in preparation for our trip to Bellingham. I didn't waste any time trying it out while we were at the store. I got lots of looks, but I didn't care. She loved it.

The way she looks at him sometimes!

The first swim of the season! Emme started to learn how to "swim like a mermaid" and Hudson liked the water quite a bit too.

Initiatories with my ladies. So sweet to spend this time with Amy before she left.

Auntie Amy took us out for "Elsa ice cream"!

Oh, Emmeline... you and Hudsie made my May.

Happy Half, Hudson!

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love a reason to get together. In our family, half birthdays are one of those ocassions. Hudson's first 6 months went by so quickly. Half a year just sounds so sad because that first year just goes by so quickly, but I love the stage he is in so much as well. The look on Shaye's face says it all. He goes along with my schemes, somewhat reluctantly at times--haha.

I put together this fun little cake. I'm learning my (extreme) limitations with cake decorating, so modest cakes are the way to go for my kiddos.

My grandma was sweet enough to come, as well as my siblings and parents. It was a fun little evening with our sweet boy.

Hudson at 6 months

Oh, my sweet little Hudsie boy! At six months, this little guy is a dream! With those baby blues, and his sweet expression. He's not crawling yet, but he's pretty happy on his tummy. He doesn't like sitting up yet, though he loves the Bumbo. He's starting to try to wiggle out of it, though, so I have to be careful.

This baby just has the sweetest disposition. He usually has a pleasant look on his face. He's been that way since he was born, to tell you the truth. Once and awhile he gets this GQ scowl on his face that just really reminds me of his dad. Handsome!

I waited the whole 6 months to put him on solids. It was really for selfish reasons because I have been working so hard to lose weight and I was afraid that by decreasing how much he was nursing that might throw a wrench into things. With his very first rice cereal, he was a fan. Emme didn't love pureed baby food, but he seems to. He also loves his little mesh feeder, particularly bananas in there. A few weeks into eating solids, I gave him hummus and he was hooked. I love that my kids aren't too picky; I hope that I can raise them to be adventuresome of palette. 

 

Hudson is a good size and quite healthy. So grateful to have him and get to spend this time with him. Every day I just try to breathe in his baby smell and softly squeeze his sweet chunks. Can't imagine life without him!

Mother's Day Musings 2015

There's something about holidays and being a mom that I find both invigorating and frustrating--I always build them up in my mind. It seems like there is this pressure, maybe it has to do with the social media craze of our time or its just part of the job, but I'm always hoping for a beautiful perfect day. The thing that I've come to realize, and, I'm sure, will increasingly recognize it that there is no such thing as the perfect day. But there are perfect moments. I had several on Mother's Day. Snuggling on the bed (okay, and totally posing) when Shaye snapped this picture was one of them. Look at my babies' faces. So perfect. How on earth did I get so lucky? I had more sweet moments thinking about my own incredible mother and all of the women in my family who have led by example. And then I have quiet moments of gratitude and a bit of sadness, thinking about the pain I used to feel on this day and the pain that I know so many infertile women are still feeling.

It always comes back to me. This intense gratitude when I look at my children. I mean, they could have so easily never come at all. The mother's days before Emme were tough. Trying to conceive, I just felt so isolated and spent the day questioning why God didn't think I was ready to be a mom. On this day especially, I would catalogue the things I thought I needed to learn before I could take on this unbelievably sacred calling. Looking at myself now, I'm pretty sure I am just as imperfect as before, but I do have a deep measure of gratitude that I know I would not have otherwise had.

When it comes down to it, motherhood is a messy, creative, tiring, inspiring, boring, exhausting, heartwarming, laugh until you cry, spiritually enriching job. It's the best thing I've ever done. I knew I'd feel profound love for my kids, especially with the burden I carried in the years before they came, but I'm still surprised sometimes at how my love for them overwhelms me.

But even with this overwhelming love I feel, I still fall short every day. I get frustrated and lose my temper. I don't enrich our time like I could and should. I stare at my phone for too long. I get stressed about things that don't matter. I look up and realize my house is an utter disaster. That's been my greatest disappointment with motherhood--myself. But then I try and remember that there is no user's manual for this job. It is one that has to come from the depths of my soul, and my soul is flawed, as well-meaning as I am.

Sometimes when I'm cleaning a blowout or closet eating in a stressful moment or trying to keep Emme from poking Hudson in the eye or nursing Hudson at 3 a.m., I think about my own mother. There were FIVE of us. She did all of this for me. Her mom before her did and so on. It is the glorious chain that we are all a part of. It may be made up of lots of little necessarily mundane moments, but the end results couldn't be more important--nurturing young souls.

So I hold onto that gratitude and try to enjoy all the simple things and all the monotony. I try to love myself after those moments of falling short, even though I drive myself crazy. I'm just so grateful for a Savior who partners with me to render this glorious work. Peeking through those mundane moments, there are many sacred ones that transcend space and time. Hudson's hand on my face as he gazes into my eyes. Emme's sweet voice, "I loz you, Mommy!" or "Thankee, mommy!" The serenity of watching them in slumber, so trusting that we'll be there to watch over them. Hearing "Jesus loz me," as I kneel in prayer with Emme.  I know that the love and sense of purpose I feel are eternal--that my spirit could never be removed from theirs. In those moments, I plead for help to be a little better and to have the capacity to appreciate every moment. 

I often feel like I have no clue what I'm doing. But motherhood--it was worth the wait...times a million!

Emmeline at Two and A Half

My sweet Emme! I can't believe she is already two and a half. That's halfway to five. Oh dear, this won't do at all! This age is so dang much fun. She has become easier to reason with, in many ways, and is saying new words and phrases every day, it seems. Sometimes I'm astounded at what she picks up on. Such a sweet, special time.

She is busy and so full of personality. I sometimes just can't believe how sassy and fun she is. It seems like the whining has been on the uptick lately, so I'm trying to manage this. For some reason, I find whining to be just about the most exasperating thing ever.  But there is so much more that I just adore about this age. She makes me laugh every day, and she really is my best little buddy.

 

On her half birthday, I wanted to do something special, and so we splurged and went to 25 Main for cupcakes. It did not disappoint. Emme had a blast! It was fun having our own little date (Hudson slept in his car seat on the ground.) Love my girl and can't wait to see what the future holds!