Thoughts on Mother's Day

Mother's Day was simply amazing for me this year. I hate to admit it, but Mother's Day has been a bit dreaded for me for the past few years. Once I even faked sick to get out of going to church. (Shame on me!) This year, we woke up in a hurry as usual, and I hadn't really given much thought to the day. In sacrament meeting I was so nauseous I didn't have time to really feel anything meaningful, but in Relief Society when my bishop stood up and struggled through tears to talk about the divinity of motherhood and showed several short Mormon Message videos on it, I totally lost it. In one of the short videos there was a dark haired young mom holding a tiny dark haired infant and it hit me that that was going to be me. It was a real "full circle" moment for me. For 5 years we have fasted and prayed to be parents and struggled with the pain of loss and disappointment, and now I can hardly believe our blessings!

I'm just so extremely grateful for the miracle of pregnancy and the divine heritage that we have to be able to be mothers. What could be more sweet? I now feel that I am coming into full step with who I'm really meant to be. I'm certain that I'll continue to change a lot as my journey progresses, and doubtless, there will be intense challenges up ahead, but there is nothing I would want to do with my life but this!

To make this weekend even better, I got to attend my long-time friend Nikki's baby shower on Saturday. It was so fun! It was another first for me. Baby showers have been a bit hard for the past few years too. Honestly, I've never had a hard time being happy for my friends--not at all! However, sometimes I felt self-conscious and felt the need to be super-Pollyanna about things. No one wants a cranky infertile woman to crash the shower!

This was just so different. I felt that full bloom in my heart of the joy of being a woman and a mother. I even posed for my first belly shot (above), which felt a bit foolish because I'm just barely showing. You can see my cracking up in the second picture because Nikki is jamming her 8 month pregnant tummy into my back to help my baby bump look bigger. I love my friends so so much! It was a joyous day for me to talk to them, play with their sweet babies, and look forward to the future.

In short, life really couldn't be any better. I feel so richly blessed, and I just can't believe how sweet and joyous my life is as I feel this little baby grow inside of me. How did I get so lucky?